I Will Find You, Soufflé Girl
by DoctorWhoGal
Summary: It is 31st December 2012 on the TARDIS and the Doctor decides to make a New Years resolution for the first time. He will find Clara Oswin Oswald, the woman twice dead. And this time, he wasn't going to let her slip away...


It is 31st December 2012 on the TARDIS and the Doctor decides to make a New Years resolution for the first time. He will find Clara Oswin Oswald, the woman twice dead. And this time, he wasn't going to let her slip away...

The Doctor's hearts had broken the day he had lost his best friends and in-laws, Amelia 'Amy' Pond and Rory Williams. They had meant the Universe to him and the thought of never seeing them again filled him with dread. Even though he knew they had lived a full and happy life, Amy and Rory Pond together, the Doctor thought his hearts could never be healed. Not even the thought of Christmas, his normally favourite time of year, could cheer him up.

Because seeing everyone else happy and full of spirit just reminded him that he was lonely. So lonely. Everyone he thought he had was now gone. He thought the Universe didn't need him anymore. So he decided to spend the rest of his days in the newly decorated TARDIS on a cloud in Victorian London, with only his darkened thoughts for company.

He came down from his cloud occasionally when the loneliness got too much to bear. He never talked to anybody though, except to his friends, Vastra the Silurian, her maid Jenny Flint and Strax the Sontaran, who always tried to get him to help people again. Just like in the good old days before the Doctor's life became shrouded with dispair. But the Doctor never gave in. He just kept his head down, so as not to attract attention and he kept walking. He wanted to keep on walking so he could forget what new man he had become. But he knew no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't run forever. Because it would eventually catch up with him.

It was on one of those rare days he had decided to venture back to the planet he used to love so much that he met her. He was briskly walking past a rowdy pub, The Rose and Crown, on the way back to his cloud, when a girl had come out and asked him if he had built a snowman just outside the murky building. He was just going to walk away. After all, he didn't do that sort of thing anymore. But there was something about the girl that intrigued him. So, he did something he hadn't done in a long while. He investigated.

As the Doctor looked at the snowman, Amy's glasses perched upon his nose, he made conversation with the girl. He found out her name was Clara. He liked her name and thought it suited her. He liked her. But he knew he shouldn't get too attached. Whenever he got involved in someone's life and left his impression upon them, they always ended up fading away or getting hurt. He wouldn't let that happen to Clara. Not to another person he cared for. Not again. So, when Clara decided to follow him, this strange man she was determined to find out more about, he knew he had to make her forget him. Before it was too late.

When the Doctor got Strax to get the memory worm to make Clara forget the last hour she had just lived, he had thought that would be the end of it and he could move on once again. But Strax. Oh, good old Strax. He forgot to put gauntlets on while attempting to catch the memory worm so it ended up with him forgetting the last hour of his life. The Doctor was angry at the time but now, he actually wanted to kiss Strax for making that mistake. Well, not literally but you know what I mean.

The Doctor thought that would be the last he saw of Clara. But alas, he was wrong. Again. When he was in the TARDIS trying to read, Amy's glasses once more sat on the bridge of his nose, he received a call from Vastra saying Clara was trying to look for him. The Doctor was going to say he wasn't interested until Vastra said what word Clara had said in the one word test. Pond. She had said Pond. No one had been able to guess that one word. Until now. The Doctor knew from that moment on that he had to help her. No matter what it took.

After paying a visit to Doctor Simeon, who seemed to play a key part in the whole snowmen debacle, The Doctor went to the house where Clara was working as a governess to two children. Even though he had only known Clara for a short while, he had never thought of her to be the 'Mary Poppins' type. But when it comes to her, he was always going to be surprised.

He was especially surprised when she kissed him, after saving her and the children from the Ice Governess with help from the sonic screwdriver and a Punch puppet. All sorts of thoughts were running through his head, some were of confusion, some were of blind panic, which seemed to be running to his flailing hands. But before he could even contemplate what was happening, it was over in a flash. He could remember blushing. Blushing a lot, in fact. But it didn't seem to bother Clara.

When the Doctor took Clara up to the cloud to look inside the TARDIS for the first time, he couldn't wait to see her reaction. He laughed under his breath as she shot outside and ran around the blue box in a circle before coming back in. The Doctor expected her to say "It's bigger on the inside". After all, his previous companions had all said it. But not Clara. She was the first person ever to say "It's smaller on the outside." She was also the first person to ask if the TARDIS had a kitchen as she liked making soufflés. The Doctor knew from then that she was special. Even though his hearts still remained shattered, piece by piece, they started to mend again. All because of this one girl. The girl who could run rings around him and maybe even just outsmart him. And, she had made him give in for the first time in months. He was grateful for that.

The Doctor had given Clara a TARDIS key from his pocket which he always kept on him. Just incase. Clara barely had time to treasure this precious gift before she was dragged out of the TARDIS doors by the Ice Governess, dropping the key in her wake. The Doctor had tried to stop her. He couldn't lose another person. Not today. But he couldn't stop her falling from her inevitable death. Just when the Doctor had let someone in, he had lost her. Or had he?

After he had defeated The Intelligence and Doctor Simeon, with a lot of help and tears from Clara, the Doctor rushed to her side as she was slipping away. He gave her the TARDIS key back, clasping it in her hand with a small kiss, before stroking a hand through her brown locks. Just before Clara closed her eyes for the last time, she had one last thing to say to him.

"Run, you clever boy. And remember..."

The Doctor had heard these words before. From a woman he had thought to be dead. A woman who had saved him and Amy and Rory from an insane asylum. A woman who was still always and completely human even though she had been converted into one of his greatest enemies.

Clara was Oswin Oswald. Or Soufflé Girl, he fondly called her. It was the same girl and she had died again. He didn't think it could be possible. How could a human girl from different time periods die twice? He was determined to find out.

After saying to Vastra and Jenny he was going to find Clara at her funeral, leaving them both bewildered, he rushed back to the TARDIS, his old energetic and wonderful self back. The Doctor we knew had returned. This time, maybe for good.

It has now been a few weeks in the TARDIS since the Doctor decided to find Clara. He had no luck so far but he was determined not to give up. The Doctor was not going to make that mistake again.

Landing on New Year's Eve 2012, the Doctor stood in the doorway of the TARDIS, looking down upon planet Earth in all its wonderous glory. He had forgotton how beautiful the Universe could be. But never again. Never again would he abandon the Universe wrapped firmly around his hearts no matter how low he got.

The Doctor wasn't one for making New Years resolutions as he knew he would always break or forget them. He was determined to fullfil this one. Smiling down at the Earth once more, the Doctor closed the TARDIS doors and set off again on his journey, his resoultion flying throughout the star filled sky.

"I will find you, Soufflé Girl. Clara Oswin Oswald, the girl who healed my hearts. I will find you. And when I do, we will have so many adventures. Oh, you just watch us run."

Hello again. Sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I've had a severe case of writer's block. So this fanfic might be rubbish :( I hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Amy x


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